Thursday, October 19, 2006
5:01 PM
feel very sad today.
feel very confused.
ming ming wanna patch up, but keep saying that i can let go, i can forget.
but will sort out my thinking at the end of this post.
only she'll understand that kind of feeling, experiencing the pain, losing someone whom u spent so many happy moments with.
really wat am i avoiding? i think its myself. trying to hide the sorrow, trying to hide those emotions, trying to act happy? or wat?
i really dun gettit. what i need most now is comfort, a true smile.
and that's what i cant get. not together now, smiling is so difficult.
if we both dunno wat happened, that means nothing happened. then?
mingming care de, but why say i dont. mingming need her, but why say i dont anymore? mingming wanna talk, nut why avoid so much?
can i really let go? from the day we sat together, fate already decided, we are friends. but why it wanna seperate us? since it put us together, why pull us apart agn?
maybe said all those stupid things juz cuz didnt wanna hurt her. but what if she gets more hurt?
hav i evr thought how she would feel?
people always say than friendships will get better after each quarrel, but why cant the same thing jus apply to our case?
why isit so exceptional?
really owed her a lot. so much that i dun even know how to pay bk.
she was the one who was always making me smile when i'm down. without those words, sometimes during bad mood really feel very weird. maybe its cuz listen the same thing for a long time le ba. then suddenly nvr hear it anymore..
we dun hav much time left together, but i'm still willing to give in anything to get this friendship bk. i nvr regretted all i did. u know how much u mean to me.
dun keep me waiting, buddy.